Trust Me
by meepette179
Summary: AU-ish. This is mostly about the personal lives of Elliot and Olivia as they explore their relationship and experience the impact of trust in each other. Rated M for eventual language and possible graphic portions. Updated
1. Secrets

The sunlight poured in though the slightly opened window sending streams of light onto the sleeping lovers, still entangled in Olivia's black comforter. Olivia was awake. She laid there staring at the ceiling.

"Good Morning." Elliot's voice rang softly in the room.

Olivia smiled and turned on her side to face him. "Morning."

Elliot looked at her and moved closer pulling her to him and kissing her forehead. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." She answered. Elliot gave a small laugh. "Nothing at all?"

"Nothing at all, El." She sighed and stretched, getting out of the bed and pulling on a robe.

Elliot stuck out his lip in a pouty manner. "Come back!"

Olivia didn't give an answer just walked out of the bedroom towards the kitchen. That's when it struck Elliot that something was wrong. He pulled on his boxers and got out of bed, groaning as his limbs cracked. He padded into the kitchen to find Olivia trying to cook eggs.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" Elliot whispered in her ear while his hands snuck inside the front of her robe. He nibbled on the side of her neck.

Olivia shivered involuntary and smiled tilting her head to the side. "Nothing, El. I'm fine."

He stopped and turned her to face him. "Tell the truth." Olivia didn't say anything and just looked down. Elliot cupped her head so that their eyes were fixated on each other. "Baby, tell me, please. I want to make it better."

"Elliot, there's a lot you don't know about me." She said simply, "I promise to tell you someday but as of now, I can't." Olivia ran a hand through her hair. "I need to shower." She walked off towards the bathroom. "Alone." She added when she heard him following her.

Elliot nodded and walked back into the kitchen nerved that she wouldn't tell him what was bothering her. He was worried more than anything, though. His mind started to wander, and imagine all the things that could be wrong. _Is she sick? _He shook his head not wanting to distress any further over something that could be nothing. _Of course its something. Why else would she be so upset?_ Elliot sighed and began to make breakfast for the two of them.

Twenty minutes had passed and Olivia had not come out of the bathroom. Breakfast was done and on the kitchen table. Elliot walked into her bedroom and knocked on the door to the in suit bathroom. "Liv? Are you okay?" There was no answer. "Liv? I'm coming in." He pushed open the door, his heart breaking as he spotted Olivia sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wrapped in a towel, crying. She looked up and tried to stop the tears in her eyes. Elliot sat down next to her pulling her into his arms. "Baby, please tell me what's wrong." Olivia shook her head and stood wiping at her eyes.

"Liv, do you regret being with me?" Elliot asked wincing.

She looked at him. "Of course not El." She sat next to him. New tears escaped from her eyes. "I love you, Elliot. I'm so in love with you. Which is terrifying because we are… well, us."

Elliot stroked the side of her face. "Is that it? You're scared of being in love?"

Olivia smiled. "No, I absolutely love being in love." She stood and held out her hand. "I have something to show you." She led him into the bedroom and grabbed a shoebox out of the closet before sitting on the bed with him. She opened the box and pulled out a picture. It was a picture of a baby in a blue blanket and a man with green eyes and chiseled features.

"Olivia, who are these people?" Elliot was confused.

"The man's name is Grant Christianson, and the baby's name is Ayden." Olivia took a deep breath. "That's my son."

Elliot looked at her shaking his head slightly. "What? Who's the man, Liv? Please, don't say your husband."

Olivia bit her lip, "El, Grant is my Ex-husband."

Elliot stood and paced around a little. "What does this have to do with anything?"

She breathed deeply and started. "I met Grant when I was studying abroad in college. He was a traveling doctor and we fell in love." Elliot felt like he was going to throw up. "We got married in Italy, and six months later I found out I was pregnant with Ayden. was born 8 months later on November 18th." Olivia looked up, blinking back tears. "He was perfect. We were happy. On our 2nd anniversary, Grant wanted to do something special. We didn't do anything for our first because I was pregnant, and hormonal, and just no fun. So we decided to have a do-over. We got dressed up and hired a sitter, and we went to a fancy restaurant. We had just made it through our salads when we got a phone call from the sitter. She was hysterical, we knew something was really wrong." Olivia was crying harder. "We got home and there were police there, our baby was dead. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. He died on our anniversary, August 21st, today."

Elliot nodded. "What happened to Grant?"

"After Ayden, it was just too painful, we couldn't be together without remembering Ayden and how our lives just completely fell apart." Olivia shrugged. "Its been so long, but I remember it like I just walked into his nursery and saw him."

Elliot set the picture back in the box and wrapped his arms around Olivia. "I'm sorry. Did you have a bad dream about him? Is that why you were crying?"

Olivia shook her head, "No, Grant called me the other day, we went out for drinks." Olivia hesitated.

Elliot took a deep breath. "How did it go."

She looked down, then said really quick. "He kissed me, and I kissed him back." She let out a long breath and winced turning to look at Elliot.

His eyes were closed and he was shaking his head. He unwrapped his arms from her and stood pacing the floor as she sat still, her head hung down. Elliot couldn't find words. He knelt in front of her. "Do you still love him?"

Olivia bit her lip, "I do, Elliot, he was my husband. The father of my only child. But I don't love him the way I love you. I promise." She cupped the side of his face. "I'm so sorry. I feel so bad, so guilty."

"Olivia, I don't know what to say. I'm disappointed. It meant nothing?" Olivia cried.

"Of course it meant nothing!" She kneeled on the floor so Elliot and her were sitting across from each other.

Elliot got up and looked down at her. "I need time, Liv." With that he turned and left the room. She heard the door to the apartment open and close. Then she was alone. She crawled onto the bed and cried, shamelessly.

* * *

**okay so i'm taking a break from my other stories because of terrible writers block. this idea just kind of popped into my head so i ran with it. hope you enjoyed it, if you did, drop me a line! haha. no but for real, comment. like legit, it would be great to know what you think.**


	2. How It All Started

**So here is chapter 2! italics are a memory. So chapter one is Olivia telling Elliot about Grant and how she met up with him, this chapter is that meeting and the events that lead up to chapter one. So Chapter 2 is before Chapter 1 technically. lol Enjoy  
**

* * *

Olivia ran her hands through her hair. She was nervous and shocked, surprised and somewhat aroused.

"_Hello?" Olivia answered while sorting DD5's in the file room._

"_Hi, um, Via? Its me." The voice said softly, obviously nervous. _

_Olivia swallowed deeply. "How are you?"_

"_Um. I'm good. I, ah, I'm in New York." He paused. "I wanna see you." _

"_Where?" She asked closing her eyes and clutching the phone tighter. _

"_The usual, tomorrow at eight?" Olivia nodded. "I'll be there." _

So here she was, sitting in _their_ corner booth, at _their_ bar, sipping on her long island ice tea. She glanced at her watch, 8:03. She felt like an idiot. He didn't show. She sighed grabbing her purse and standing exiting the booth only to run in a tall man. "Sorry." She mumbled. "Olivia?" The man asked. Olivia looked up, coming eye to eye with a pair of green eyes.

"Leaving already?" He laughed, sitting down.

She laughed scooting in next to him. "I thought you weren't going to show."

He gave a small smirk, "A man would have to be crazy to stand you up."

Olivia blushed and took a drink of her beverage. He took it from her drinking some as well. "That was mine." She teased.

"You'll get over it." He smiled wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

She decided to get to it. "What are you doing in New York?"

"I got a job. Its temporary but somewhat stable." His fingers rubbed her shoulder under his hand. "I remembered you were here, looked you up… I miss you, Via. So much. Its been three years since I've been in New York. Three long lonely years. I want to try us again."

Olivia opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her. "Don't make up your mind just yet." His hand moved from where it was, covering her lips softly, to the curve of her face. "Damn, Via. I forgot how beautiful you are."

Her breath hitched when she saw him moving closer to her. "Listen." he requested. "Our song."

'**Cause I wonder where you are**

**And I wonder what you do**

**Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?**

His lips were millimeters from hers. She felt the friction from the two every time he spoke in his low bedroom voice. "Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven't got a clue. But let me start by saying, I love you…" His singing trailed off as he looked into her eyes one last time and placed his lips over hers gently.

Olivia felt herself lean into the kiss, draping a leg across his knee in desperate attempt to get closer to him.

Suddenly, she pulled back, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh, god. I can't do this!"

"What? What's wrong?" He asked cupping her face again.

"I'm so sorry." She shook her head. "I tried to tell you. Grant, I'm seeing someone."

Grant closed his eyes. "Please, Via. Stay with me."

She left the booth. "I can't."

* * *

She opened the apartment door slowly and quietly, hoping to sneak in unnoticed. She made it to the kitchen counter when , "Liv?"

She smiled, looking at her disheveled boyfriend trying to get off the couch. Obviously he had fallen asleep during the news. "Hey El."

Elliot smiled wrapping his arms around her. "Baby, what you doing getting home so late?"

Olivia shrugged. "I lost track of time. Sorry."

He backed her against the wall, pinning her there with his body. "Its okay. I know how we can make up for it." He dipped his head, kissing her neck softly.

Olivia let out a small moan, "El, baby I smell."

"I don't care." he continued kissing and nipping his way around her collarbone.

"I do. Let me go shower please." She laughed as he pouted moving away from her. She walked to the bathroom stripping and climbing into the warm water. Her whole body relaxed as she scrubbed away the day's dirt.

15 minutes later. Olivia came out of the bathroom, to find the bedroom empty. She expected Elliot to be in bed already. She shrugged thinking maybe he had gone for something to eat and walked to her dresser to put away her earrings.

She opened the box on the dresser, surprised to find something else already occupying it. The earrings dropped from her hands as she stared at the white gold, princess cut engagement ring. "Elliot!" She cried out staring at the ring.

Elliot came into the room with a smile on his face. "I see you found my little surprise."

"Elliot is that an engagement ring… for me?" Olivia asked breathlessly.

"If you want it to be, because I sure hope it is." Elliot sunk to one knee with the box in his hand. He withdrew the ring and placed it on her finger. "I love you so much, Olivia. We have been together for two and a half years and if it wouldn't have made me seem crazy, I would've purposed the day I met you. I'm so sure I want to spend my life with you. Marry me, Olivia."

Olivia launched herself at him, kissing him hard. "God, yes!"

Elliot smiled at her, from his position below her on the ground. "Let's celebrate."

A smile graced Olivia's face from ear to ear. "Take me to bed Elliot."

* * *

Olivia laid in Elliot's embrace, trailing a finger up and down his arm. "I love you Elliot." She leaned and kissed him. He smiled against her lips, "I love you to, Mrs. Stabler."

"I love hearing that." she snuggled in closer to his side.

"Liv, promise you won't leave me." Elliot requested, his vulnerability breaking Olivia's heart. "I promise."

"Good, because I cannot imagine life without you, now that I know how great every day I spend with you is." He kissed her again and then settled into the pillows, letting sleep overcome his tired body.

Olivia laid awake a bit longer, her mind rushed over the day's events. Tears came to her eyes, she wiped them quickly and scooted closer to Elliot. She looked at his peaceful, sleeping face. She ran a finger over his features. She kissed him and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to come.

* * *

**okay so if this doesn't make sense or if you are thinking , what the hell! she cheated on you! again after telling you about her ex husband, yet you still purpose? then you probably didnt read the note at the top. lol **

**Please Review!  
**


	3. You Work Here?

Elliot sighed and rubbed the palms of his hand on the back of his head. After leaving Olivia's, he had walked down the street to the bar and sat in a booth. He thought about Olivia's secret past and how this Grant-person had so easily walked back into her life. He took a drink of the beer in front of him. There is no question Elliot is jealous of Grant. Grant was Olivia's first love, her first husband, he was the father of her only child, and they had bonded over their shared loss. He didn't need to meet the guy to know he hated him.

Finishing his beer, Elliot stood and exited the bar, heading back towards Olivia's apartment. He stood outside her door for several minutes, trying to muster up enough energy to open the door. He walked in, finding the apartment silent and lonesome.

"Liv?" Elliot searched the kitchen and dining room. "Baby?" He pushed open the bedroom door to find Olivia laying on the bed, asleep.

He watched her for a few seconds noticing that her cheeks were red and blotchy. She had cried her self to sleep. He sat on the bed beside her brushing her hair back. Olivia's eyes fluttered open slowly. She saw him, then the guilt rushed back to her and tears started to form in her eyes. "El… I'm so sorry."

"Shh." He soothed, wiping away stray tears. "I know you are. I know you didn't mean to do this. He didn't know you were with me, and I'd be stupid to think that the attraction between you guys isn't still there."

"El, I don't-"

"Please, just let me finish." He looked down. "I love you too much to lose you to some guy who already had his chance. I know you are going to think I am overreacting, but I'm positive I want to be with you forever, and I'm not gonna let him jeopardize that. Olivia, call him right now and tell him that you cannot see him anymore."

"What? Elliot, that's not ness-"

"Yes, it is, to me. I need you to do this. Please, Liv." Elliot looked up at her, he could tell she was angry.

Olivia didn't say anything. She simply got up and walked over to the phone. She dialed a number and waited for Grant to answer. "Hello?… It's me… No, I'm fine… Listen, I can't see you anymore… I'm sorry… Goodbye." She hung up and put the phone on the receiver. She turned to face Elliot. "Are you happy?"

Elliot didn't answer, he just looked at her. Olivia laughed bitterly and walked to the drawer, she quickly changed into her pajamas. Elliot stood and removed his jeans and shirt, leaving himself in his boxers and wife-beater. They climbed into their respective sides on the bed and laid there, neither one saying a word.

"Liv." Elliot broke the silence.

"Go to sleep." She bit back.

He turned over and faced her, "I didn't do it because I'm trying to hurt you, or to be vindictive."

Olivia turned to him, "Then why." She was angry.

Elliot took a deep breath and laid on his back looking away from her. "I did it because… I'm…" He took a deep breath, "I'm insecure."

Olivia didn't understand. "El?" She placed her hand on his cheek urging his face towards his. He eyes were watery. "What do you mean?"

"Liv, he's your ex-husband, he probably knows things about you I will never know. He was the father of your baby. He's a doctor. He is handsome and suave, and I'm just a cop. He can give you things I could never afford. He can make it so you don't have to work anymore… he can guarantee that you're safe." Elliot wiped his eyes leaving his hand there, not wanting Olivia to see his emotions.

"Elliot, if I cared about money, I would've chosen a different career. He is my ex-husband, but that doesn't mean much. I'll always love him for being Ayden's father, but its nothing compared to how much I love you. I don't want to risk that, because I'm not sure I could live without you in my life. I want to marry you, and have kids, and then have grandchildren that come over for Christmas. And I want to cook turkey on Thanksgiving for them, even though it will probably taste awful." She took a deep breath. "I want to grow old with you, only you."

Olivia moved Elliot's hands away from his face, his eyes were red-rimmed. "El, I always feel safest in your arms. Money couldn't change that."

Elliot kissed her sweetly and hugged her tightly to his chest. "I love you."

"I love you." Olivia responded. "And El?"

"Hmm?"

"Grant is handsome, but words cannot describe how attracted I am to you." Olivia kissed the underside of his chin. Elliot smiled smugly. "Thanks Liv."

* * *

Olivia walked into the squad room to find it quieter than usual. Munch and Fin chatted idly, while Elliot was at the coffee machine pouring himself a cup. She walked to the coffee machine and opened her mouth to say something when Cragen walked out of his office and began yelling. "Munch, Fin, finish your DD5's from the Sanderson case. Benson, Stabler, M.E.'s got something."

* * *

Elliot and Olivia entered the morgue, suddenly hit by the cold. The M.E. stood over the slab, focused on his work.

"Whatcha' got?" Elliot asked.

The M.E. turned around. Olivia's breath hitched in her throat. "Oh my God."

Elliot's hands formed fists.

"Via." Grant swallowed. "You work… you're a cop?"

"Yeah, uh… sorry, El? This is my ex-husband, Grant. Grant, this is my partner, Elliot Stabler." Olivia swallowed as the two men stood face-to-face, sizing each other up.

"Where's ME Warner?" Elliot asked glaring.

"She's taking some time off." Grant answered. "I'm her replacement."

* * *

**oh snap. poor Elliot. Just when he thinks he's gotten the other man out of the picture BAM! Drama!**

**please review  
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